Saturday, September 06, 2008
Happy Birthday Milo! man, i love her alot. who is she? she's my dog. she turned a year old today, which means she's roughly 10 years old in dog years ^^ she's so cute. so fluffly...cuddly...and she's staring me with her big brown eyes as i am typing this. aww she's sooooooooo cute!ahhh...love her alot X3 ^^
--Merci tout le monde--
8:54 AM
i am only addressing one person in this entry so if anyone else feels as if it is refering to them, you can speak to me personally about this or drop me an email. whoever i am refering to in this entry will know who he or she is and i will address each of my concerns separately. the said person may also approach me on this matter.
First of all, i was really very disappointed when i read your blog. i sorry if you think that i argue with people just to irritate you or that i just want to dominate things but the only reason i did it was because i disagree with her on many levels. i won't deny that i really hate her. you want to know why? it's because she betrayed me and i don't take kindly to betrayers. besides, instead of only asking me to shut up, why don't you tell her to do so? i only fight back because she wants act as if she knows everything and that i felt strongly against it. true, i have a terribly bad temper and true, i told some people about it but not every single person i see. and trust me, people don't hate her because i told them what happened. haven't you noticed that apparently almost nobody likes her since last year? i'm not saying that i'm well liked by everybody and i don't need you to point it out for me thank you very much. i also won't deny that i vent my anger on others but don't you vent your anger on me too?sure, i've sinned but haven't you too? you said that i fight with everyone else but you and asked if it was because i was afraid to lose you. well, congrats, you've hit jackpot, i don't want to lose you. but do you know why? here's the truth. i don't want to lose you because you are one of a kind. honestly speaking, i've never had a friend like you, and that's a compliment by the way. i've always had problems with friends because i don't know how NOT to chase them away. really, i am like some sort of repellent that keeps everyone away. unlike my other friends, i found it easy to talk to you about certain subjects. you are the first person i've found to be able to think along the same lines as me during certain times. and just so you know, you are the only one i ever gave in to so be grateful.
secondly, if you don't want to hear certain stuff i talk about you can just tell me straight in the face or just change the subject. i'm not dense. furthermore, it's not my fault that i have a dog alright? is it wrong for me to love my dog and talk about her? seriously i think you're being unreasonable. i repeat, is it a sin to love a pet? i know that your religion is against dogs but is it also wrong to hear someone talk about one? i wasn't even threatening or insulting you with it. i don't really like cats but do you hear me insulting them? i don't thinks so. so get it straight, i love my dog like you would love a cat if you ever have one so please be considerate about it. and to answer your question, yes i would talk to milo but will she ever answer me?
thirdly, i think you're a coward. if you're upset with me you should confront me and not just pour out your hard feelings on your blog. yes, you might say that it's your blog so you have the right to post whatever you like on it. but have you ever considered my feelings? to know that my friend is posting insults of me on her blog? to know that everything she does is just an act? do you know that it really hurts alot? yeah, i won't deny that i've also done it once but must you really make an example of me? it's like those high school movies where the school nerd tries to be accepted by the popular group only to be rejected in front of everyone. yeah, that's how i feel when i read your entries. besides, this is not only about me. you've done it to Ms Lee too. Ms Lee did nothing wrong except for passing a few comments. sure, some of it might have been hurtful but you are taking this too personally. when she said that our pronunciation was like a fillipino, she only meant it exactly as she had said it. she didn't mean to insult your race. when she asked if you want to die, she wasn't even cursing you to actually die so why do you get so worked up? you might say that since it was directed at me i wouldn't know how it feels but how would you know that i won't understand the feeling? i've faced worst comments and statements when i was still in the band (no ofence to the band...i still think you guys rock) and it was in front of either the whole section or the whole band. so what is your problem? how do you even know that her intention was to sneer at others? you might say that she should be more sensitive and think really carefully before she speaks, that i agree to you only to some extent. but think, have you been completely sensitive towards others? have you thought of how others would feel before you pass a comment? i ask you again, have you? your blog shows otherwise. i admit that i myself hadn't been completely thoughtful too but do you really have to call people names and profanities?you wrote in your blog "NO ONE HAS E RIGHT TO CRITICISE SOMEONE ELSE UNLESS UU'RE FAR OFF BETTER THAN TT PARTICULAR PERSON!" and those where your exact words. so read it again and asked yourself, have you lived up to that statement? i think not. you called Ms Lee a "bitch", a "buffalo", a "fucking racist", "ms fucking bitch", "kaninabei" and "cibai". let me ask you something, what right do you have to call her those names? calling her those names doesn't make you any better than her and by passing those comments, you are downright RUDE! she is older than you and she doesn't deserve to be called those names! if she is an animal then so are you. you recite the pledge five days a week and it clearly says "we build a democratic society, based on JUSTICE and EQUALITY". are you doing her justice by calling her names she doesn't deserve? how would you like it if other people made fun of your size? i admit that she's no super model but she is as much of a buffalo as you are if you are to call her one. besides, there's no need to challenge someone to do something. do you know that it is as good as daring someone to do something? dares are stupid and everyone knows it. by daring her to do something as stupid as that shows your immaturity and incapability to handle such matters. and what right have you to say that her parents didn't teach her moral values? what if she turned out to be an orphan? what if she only have one parent like you? if you say that her parents didn't teach her any moral values, then what about you? you've been far worse than her so how does it reflect on your parent? i'm no angel myself but at least i don't call people names(except for mushroom). and who said that she didn't respect us? just because you can't tell when she's showing her respect doesn't mean she didn't alright. besides, by passing those comments, do you honestly think that you deserve her respect? think about it, who really is the monster and who really is the man?
my fourth concern and hopefully my last is that though a blog is for expressing one's feelings and thoughts, one mustn't go too far and must exercise control and responsibilty at all times. you have abused the purpose of a blog by bad mouthing people on yours. so what if many other people did it too? do you really want to stoop to their level? if you have any concerns regarding tohers, you should speak out and not just pour everything out on your blog. you might retaliate, saying that i haven't set that example myself so i shouldn't be asking people to do it. you're right. but do you want to listen to my views? if i were to so much as mention why you're wrong, you'll just shoot me an sms later on or tell me to fuck off immediately and ramble on about what a horrible friend i've been. but ask yourself this, have you been a good friend to me? you always expect me to understand your problems and give you perfect advice but when things go wrong, you blame me for not understanding you and that i never will because i HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THEM MYSELF BEFORE. so instead of saying that over and over again, why don't you tell me how i should feel? you've bad mouthed many people (whom i shall not name) in my presence and in your text messages to me. but let me tell you, you are just as bad as them. you talk about friends who are insensitive towards you and brought you lots of trouble. the sequences concert was a good enough example. i shall not go into detail about that, you know exactly what i am talking about. it is only from your blog that i know you've been bad mouthing me too. perfect example of a friend huh? when you get mad, you talk be hind their back but when they please you, you thank them like there's no end to it.
i've tolerated your actions and words long enough. you've never thought of how others will feel before doing anything. talk about this being one of the many sides of you, this is just you showing how immature you are to be unable to understand things from another point of view. once, when i told you that i don't want to fight with you and give you advice, you just sneered at me and said that if an ah lian was in her place, she would have beaten me up. do you know what ah lians actually are? let me enlighten you. they are cowards who will do anything to protect themselves and resort to violence to solve problems. so are you and ah lian or not? i think you're not. you are just a child who think that the whole world is against you and that God have cursed you to live a horrible life and to die a horrible death. you are being very self centered and selfish. i've always tried to make you understand that the world is not against you and that there are still people who love you but you never listened. tell me, what must i do to show you that i am not just a person passing through your life? that I care for you? how? please tell me how.
do you know how much it hurts to read stuff that a person whom you love and trust alot wrote about you. i am not a lesbian. i am not in love with you. i love you as a friend. so please. open your eyes to the things around you. things that are worth being thankful and glad for. things which i never had. i never had a friend reach out to me and pull me up when i fall like i want to do for you. let me help you. i'm not asking you to worship me but to be happy. do not dwell on the unpleasant times, only on the good times. if you ever read this and don't want me around you any longer, i completely understand and will respect your wishes. i don't want to force you in to anything. i've provoked you enough in this entry and i will stop here. take care.
--Merci tout le monde--
6:19 AM
